Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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