are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
