Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
