oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I don't think brook has ever known best
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
