Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
