i think my tv is drunk
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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