Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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