I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
