Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
