So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
