I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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