I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
