the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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