I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
