if i can run in heels then i can drive
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
