Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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