i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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