I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
