dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
