Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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