i permit you to call me
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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