So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
