we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
