I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize