There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
