I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
