he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
