you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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