No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
