you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
