He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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