She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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