rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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