Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
