She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
