Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
