He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
