dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
