is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Randomize
