try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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