so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
