Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
