mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
