But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
