I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
