Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
