he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
