Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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