I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize