omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think a kid would responsible me up
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
