The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize