I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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