I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
