I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
