My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
