There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
