But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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