omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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