I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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