I can text with my tongue
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
