He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
