I cannot find my penis.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
