Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
