Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
id be glad to
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
