Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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