My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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