Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
