end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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