Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
