also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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