i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
