; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
