why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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