Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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