Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize