she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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