yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
