I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
