He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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