let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
